


On my Knees.

by covalentbonds



Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Angst galore, Gen, Implied Non-Con, Molestation, Not Post but mid i guess, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Steve Rogers doesn't see Tony's suffering, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Tony Stark-centric, Tony would do anything for the team, blackmailing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-19
Updated: 2016-08-28
Packaged: 2018-07-25 09:38:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,332
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7527673
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/covalentbonds/pseuds/covalentbonds
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Never in his life, he had done it.<br/>But he'll do whatever it takes to keep his team safe.<br/>Including getting on his knees.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> It includes blackmailing someone. Via molestation. Please take care of your triggers.

"Send out a BOLO for the fugitives." Ross states as he makes eye contact with both Tony and Natasha.

He puts his comm down and stares at both of them from the top of his nose. The audacity of this bastard, Tony swears. After what he had done to Bruce and what he was doing to Tony's team, Tony wouldn't hesitate to off him. _Truly_.

"Secretary."

Natasha speaks and pauses and then speaks again.

"The circumstances were compromising and there is no need of a BOLO, we can bring our friends in safe and sound." Her tone is soft but her words imply that she would not stand for anything else.

"They don't deserve safe and sound, Ms.Romanov. The witch has escaped with your retired Hawk and the Captain and Falcon have abetted a known criminal in escaping just after said criminal killed some innocent guards." Natasha's eye twitches as she replies.

"All those people have endangered their lives again and again to protect the citizens of this world. Including you. They don't deserve to die. We'll bring them in and properly inquire their reasons. That's a reasonable request."

Ross frowns and Tony cuts in. "Captain America gave up his life for this country and it's people. And everyone along side him has suffered just as much, Ross.." Tony keeps on speaking, accounting the various events where they have saved lives but he notices that Ross' eyes are not on his face. No, they are a bit down. Just on his exposed throat. He pauses confused but Ross speaks up. "10 hours. You have 10 hours to bring them in." Natasha's eyes widen in incredulity. "Your own forces wouldn't-" She's saying.

But Ross' eyes are still on his throat. His - _bare, exposed, vulnerable throat_. "Natasha." Tony interrupts, not looking at her. She stops speaking. "Natasha, do me a favor and go and check on Friday." She is looking at him, he's sure. But he doesn't look at her, because... _Because_. She pivots on her heels and exits the room. Ross smiles at him. Tony internally shudders.

"Let's talk Ross." He says and steps forward. "You want something from me, I'm guessing- to gives us more time. What is it? Money? Weapons? The location of Bruce Banner? Some underhanded favor?" He has turned around and is still thinking when Ross' voice interrupts, from closeby. _Too closeby_. He is literally breathing down Tony's neck.

"Get on your knees, little Stark and I would give you all the time you need." Tony's eyes widen as he freezes. He doesn't turn around. Doesn't utter a word.

"You think my forces can't hurt your comrades, Stark? Think again. I gave the world Hulk. I can take care of a few stragglers and with what their public image is right now, no one would care. Except you, I'm thinking. Howard had always been less sentimental. That man worked with brains. But not you. No." He breathes down his shoulder again.

"No, Tony Stark cares. Cares for this group of people who don't give a fuck about him. But what do I care about that? I want to see you on your knees. Begging. Lips around my cock. Why? Because I'm thinking Tony Stark has never begged anyone for anything. Never gotten on his knees. Never used his body for getting something..because you didn't need to right? You could make the world bend for you. Ah, what a pleasure it would be to see those lips wrapped around my cock, to see _you_ begging." He says his tone disgustingly soft. 

"You'll get down on your knees Stark, because you care too much."

Steve's smiling face as Tony flails at Dum'E, Clint's laugh when one of his Tony-made arrows ruin Natasha's hair do. Wanda's wary appreciation of a home, Vision's attempts at understanding human behaviour, Sam's grin when Tony upgraded the wings and gave him RedWing all flash through his mind.

All the possibilities that didn't include....this... run through his mind too.In the end, he just doesn't have time for anything else. He cannot let any of his former-present-who-the-fuck knows team mates get hurt. He never could. They all matter too much to him. More than his ego or his feelings or ..or.. _anything._

He turns.

He gets on his knees.

Ross smiles above him.

There's a sound of a zipper opening.


	2. Its here its now

 The deed is done and there is cum coating his lips, eyelids and cheeks.He has never hated someone with the intensity he hates Ross.

Including Obadiah fucking Stane, at least that man had stopped his father from hitting Tony in his presence (only to take out the device keeping him alive with his bare hands, but small details right?)  
He hates Ross more than he hated Howard too.  
And that's saying something because Tony hates Howard..a hell lot. The child abusing-idea stealing bastard. Maria Stark, went down as nothing but accessory to the drunk driving of the fucker. So now when he says he hates Ross probably more than Howard and Obadiah, its a testament to the fuckery levels of dickbags the man has achieved.

  
“36 hours. No more and no less. If they are not here in 36 hours, Stark, bad things will happen....On a second thought..don’t bring them in..I will have so much more fun messing around with you.”  
Ross says, watching Tony, like he’s a piece of meat.  
Tony looks at himself in bathroom mirror, no trace of the deed. Satisfied, he strodes out of the room, not looking at Ross.  
Natasha meets him outside with a raised eyebrow. He shrugs and grins even though it feels like something has closed a fist around his heart.  
“Some underhanded things..you know how it is.” She sighs, buying the lie and he doesn’t feel suprised because while Natasha may have been a Widow for most of her life but, Tony has been keeping up these masks from the age of four.  
“How many hours do we have then?”  
“36.”  
She noddes and there’s that.  
No one will know that Tony Stark got on his knees and begged and-and..nothing. Nothing.  
____________  
He remembers the next moment he met Ross with an oddly clear memory too. But that has always been his luck. The bad-absolute worst things he remembers in HD while the good memories are blurred and have that hazy sense to them that makes him feel they never actually happened. He remembers some of his clearest ones unwillingly because once they start...

  
Howard hitting him, his eyes flashing because how dare Tony suggest that they could work on better armor material than automatic guns. Howard twisting his arm because Tony presented his idea of the new OS in front of the board and it got accepted. Howard grinning at the president of the U.S.A while keeping a very hard hand on Tony’s shoulder.  
That low budget, extremely efficient water filterer? Yes of course that was all Howard, oh his son? He likes to play around with screws sometimes, nothing great.  

  
Tiberius Stone backstabbing Tony in his low mocking tone-- because you thought we were friends Tony? How sad. People like you-don’t deserve friends.  
Obadiah’s grinning face because-just because you have an idea,it doesn’t belong to you Tony.  
Textbook Narcissism, volatile, egostical,arrogant, merchant of death -- because of course he is.

  
"I’ve seen the videos" -- what videos was Steve talking about anyway? When he went to numerous missions in the east to help people? When he defeated Obadiah because hello-monster machine? When he took down Vanko? What videos?  
"Take off he armor.." Fuck that guy. Tony had made that armor in a cave, from his own blood, sweat and tears, while having a piece of metal stuck inside his chest and getting tortured. How dare Steve imply the armor was not him? But this righteous indignation did not come very often. Specially if it was Captain America telling you your worth was nothing.

  
But Ross? Ross was a fuckbag. The moment Tony had gotten on the raft, Ross had smiled at him in that creepy all knowing way and cornered him before he got to see his teammates.  
“I knew you were going to mess up Stark.”  
Tony snarled. “You have the protectors of the planet locked up in a prision without even a trial, and you think I’m the one that messed up?”  
Ross came closer to him, his hand darting out to touch Tony’s face.  
“Oh Tony, don’t you know? You always mess up?” He laughed.  
Tony gritted his teeth.  
“Come on Ross, Wanda’s just a ki-  
“She’s 24. An adult.”  
“That straitjacket is not necessary! She’s wearing the fucking power dampner collar isn’t she?”  
“Well.” Ross looked towards his desk where a black module key was kept. “It isn'necessary no...”  
Tony took a deep breath. Wanda was innocent. Relatively. Kind of. Vision was still traumatised at having been shoved 60 ft inside the earth but she was not really a bad kid.  
“What do you want?”  
“Well, I don't have enough time for the thing I want..right now Stark, but believe me if I did, I’d be fucking you over that desk like the whore you are. But since, I can’t..” He came closer to Tony and looked down at him.  
“...a repeat performance will work.”  
Tony would later let the module key bite into his arm as he listened to Clint shout at him. What..what was so bad about Tony that he never could deserve someone’s love? He would talk to Sam and press the key in the hand of a guard and tell him to slide it in Wanda’s little cell.  
He was helping Steve. He was being a good friend. He thought as he clenched his eyes in the plane, what else was left of him anyway? He had lost his dignity and his heart long ago.  
It was okay. He’d be okay.  
He was doing it for a friend.  
F r i e n d  
F r i e n  
F r i e  
SowasiSowasiSowasiSowasiSowasi  
He had done it for nothing at all.  
\------  
The Avengers were back and unlike a happy ending everything was not okay.  
All of them had been pardoned and had signed the new accords that Tony had worked his ass off for the last year. At least that was okay. The accords were no longer a restriction. They were like a super powered-internal affairs body.  
What was not okay?  
They..were back.  
Vision didn’t stay anywhere near Wanda and the girl looked increasingly depressed. On top of that, Clint glared at Tony, like somehow that was his fault. Steve wouldn’t meet his eyes and Barnes ...well Tony didn’t want to talk about him.  
But he had. With the help of Vision-that bloody android! Tony suspected that some of Jarvis’ programming had somehow remained in him and Rhodey-wonderful awesome amazing Rhodey, and Peter-god bless his prepubescent face, Pepper, who he was back to being best friends with and Happy and Jan Van Dyne and Laura Barton-both of them were really angry with their respective partners by the way and T’Challa-the kitty king who Rhodey said had a crush on Tony, with the help of all these people Tony Stark had started on a long path to recovery.  
Including smashing the shit out of every possible hydra base and that sick metal arm and that sick electric chair.  
Including making a new arm that didn’t look as bad.  
Including customizing BARF for Barnes.  
So he wasn’t talking to the man-no but he had paid his dues..hadn’t he?  
He’d even get Bruce back.  
Bruce who didn’t even want to look at Tony because Tony worked with Ross.  
But that was okay. Because with Bruce’s testimony and other data that Tony had pulled on Ross that man was going to get what he deserved.  
He still had nightmares about what he had done, but he was okay. It was okay.  
Until it was not.  
______  
It had been a Sunday.  
Rhodey and Tony were just returning to their rooms after Rhodey’s physical therapy--to meet Pepper and Peter and maybe Vision? T’Challa was coming in sometime that day too, so Tony hoped he could join them ..in what promised to become a slumber party.  
Rhodey was teasing him about the kitty king while Tony scowled at him. Pepper had met them halfway instantly joining in on the ribbing.  
“Are we talking about the glaringly obvious crush the king of Wakanda has on Tony?” She had said, her eyes bright.  
“I have to say, his hero worship almost rivals my own. Which is not a bother because while you're hot and all Mr. Stark and I would definitely be hitting on you if i was anywhere near your..."   
Everyone had groaned as Peter had gone on and on rambling, hanging uspide down from the ceiling.   
But then..  
Then Friday had interrupted them.  
“Boss..there’s something happening on the T.V...” She had gone silent before speaking up..and believe it or not, the A.I sounded way way off when she spoke next.  
“You may want to make your way to the foyer.”  
They had all looked at each other with curiosity before continuing down the path which lead to the living room with the 50 something inch T.V.  
Steve, Sam and Bucky were sitting on a couch while Scott was sitting on the small stool near it. Natasha had been in the love seat, getting her hair braided by Jan while Laura sat on the floor and probably waited for her turn.  
Vision was floating in one corner of the room while Wanda and Clint sat in the other.  
T’Challa was standing in the doorway with a briefcase, indicating that he had just came in.   
The T.V was on.  
Everyone had turned around for a second before going back to whatever it was that warranted Friday calling them to the same room.  
The woman on the channel was saying something.  
“...shocking footage against Thaddeus Ross has come forward, invloving Tony Stark himself. We will warn our viewers that the video is only meant for adult discretion...”  
The world under Tony’s feet shook as everyone turned to stare at him.  
“Pete-” His voice broke. Sounding horribly unlike him. “Pete.” He repeated.  
“Get out of here.” It sounded dull, completely hollow like Tony had been on the edge of a cliff that had no ground to safely stand on anyway.

Like hell would he let Peter see this video. (He was praying with everything that it was not ..that. But luck was something that was never associated with him.) 

The poor kid idolised him, wouldn't do to see your idol sucking dick.

Wow. Even internally, he could get hysterical. Who knew? 

  
Clint sneered.  
“What have you done, that you don’t want your little protégée to see? What kind of shameful deal did you make huh Stark?”  
Shameful? Shameful indeed, his lips twisted upwards in the cruelest mockery of a smile.

He repeated his last statement.  
“Peter Parker, get out of here.” Pete’s eyes had gone wide and betrayed but he exited without a word.  
“Tony what’s...” Rhodey had began but Natasha interrupted him.  
“Is it that underhanded deal thing we did for more time, Tony?” She had spoken.  
But Bruce arrived in the room that second. His eyes glaring at Tony. They had begin to soften up in the last few days but now they were hard again.  
“You actually made a deal with Ross..?” He sounded disgusted.  
And the video finally began.  
It was HD too! he thought.

How nice! The world gets to see him humiliated and objectified in HD! 

  
It was the room where he had met Ross. The video started from when Ross had been speaking on the phone.  
Then Natasha butted in telling him that they could bring the team back on their own and no one had looked suprised.  
Then Tony had started counting the numerous great deeds done by the avengers and Steve had definitely looked suprised. Bastard.  
Then...Ross agreed on ten hours.  
Scott had scoffed then and Sam had grinned,obviously just as confident that they wouldn't have been caught in ten hours but..  
“Natasha, do me a favor...”  
On-screen Tony said.  
Natasha went out of the room in the video.  
On-screen Tony had turned and started asking what Ross wanted.  
Then...then...what had Ross said after it?   
“Get on your knees, little Stark and I would give you all the time I need.” 

Yeah. That. 

The atmosphere in the room dropped from sneering and scoffs right down to a pointed silence.   
While Rhodey turned to him. His eyes wide.  
“Tony...tell me you didn’t do this for them...tell me..” But Tony had.  
“You think my forces can't hurt your comrades, Stark? Think again. I gave the world Hulk. I can take care of a few stragglers and with what their public image is right now, no one would care. Except you, I'm thinking. Howard had always been less sentimental. That man worked with brains. But not you.”

Ross is saying on the screen and Jan is now standing on her feet in the room, her body quivering in what Tony thinks..may be rage.  
“No, Tony Stark cares. Cares for this group of people who don't give a fuck about him. But what do I care about that? I want to see you on your knees. Begging. Lips around my cock. Why? Because I'm thinking Tony Stark has never begged anyone for anything. Never gotten on his knees. Never used his body for getting something..because you didn't need to right? You could make the world bend for you. Ah, what a pleasure it would be to see those lips wrapped around my cock, to see you begging.”  
Rhodey growls, low in his throat and Tony can’t stop his hands from fidgeting. It’s coming any second now. The cheap talk is over..he is..going to..go. He can't stay. He can't watch himself.   
There’s a sound of zipper opening.  
There’s a sound of feet turning on their heels.  
Tony in screen has dropped to his knees.  
Tony in life has exited the room. The stares. The accusations. The pity. Whatever the fuck else.  
When he gets back to his awareness, he is in his workshop. The glass windows are blacked out.  
Tony’s hands are bleeding because he clenched them too tightly.  
And Tony’s eyes are blank.  
Blank like endless deserts of Afghanistan, blank like the endless vastness of the universe, blank like .....someone who has stopped feeling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HOY HOY  
> Will probably finish this with the next chapter.  
> Drop ideas if you wanna see something happen.  
> Also while im working on the multichaptered fic, IM ABSOLUTELY TAKING **PROMPTS.**  
>  On tumblr though  
> [ any pairing of Tony. Any at all. ]  
> ;) ironpanther's awesome by the way.  
> [here](icallyourbullshittumblr.com)   
> Drop some if ya want.  
> Thanks for all the kudos and the comments by the way! Thet make me really really happy ♡


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: vague suicidal thoughts.   
> Take care of your triggers.

 

Tony wakes up to some kind of weird music pulsing in his ears.  
_“I won’t just survive, oh you will see me thrive..don’t doubt ..it….rise.._ ”  
He groans.  
“Really Friday? Self help pop music? That’s what I have been brought down to?”  
“It got you up bossman.” Friday quips. She’s right. After coming down to the lab, he had opened probably what was an illegal edition of Russian vodka and inhaled it. Through his food pipe.  
He leans back into the chair he was slumped on and sighs.  
“So.” He says and thank all the pieces of code in her, Friday picks up on it.  
“There are court orders for your testimony and numerous messages from Ms.Potts and Mr.Rhodes threatening to burn down the lab walls if you don’t give a sign of your wellness.” He waves a hand to stop her.  
“I’m fine, don’t worry.” A pause. “Send that.”  
“Very assuring.” Friday quips sarcastically.  
He sharply grins. “That’s my middle name, darling.”  
“Well you also have messages from Mr.Banner, Vision, Peter, Natasha, T’Challa, Mr.Barton…” The list continues as Tony rubs over his chest to soothe the ache.  
“Ms.Helen also wanted to talk about the X-Rays you sent her about your sternum and it’s stability and the media is on the biggest friz of the year.” Friday sounds angry, which warms Tony. But he is so, so  _tired._  
“Ah say Friday, what happened to that island I bought in case I went psycho and needed to hide from the world’s government?”  
Friday replies, amused. “It still exists Sir. It’s one of the nuisances of unmovable things.”  
“Yeah? And does it have a place to live on it?”  
“Yes Sir. It has a mansion, fully stocked : firstly maintained by JARVIS and then me.” He grins nostalgically. Jarvis. Jarvis was the best.  
“Well.” He manages to say. Friday doesn’t comment on his teary eyes.  
He reaches the glass pane on the other side of the lab. Picks up a sample of the thing that he worked on, in his spare time. Which probably should save his life. Extremis. Modified, less villain-ish Extremis.  
And begins collecting all the other things he needs to take with him. His holotabs and some of the T-shirts he absolutely loved, ah those lovely cases of alcohol. His favourite sunglasses.  
“Ready the quinjet, darling.”  
Friday almost seems to approve of his actions with her tone. “Anything for you bossman.” He stores everything he has picked up in a duffel bag lying around, puts on his sunglasses and grins at the person he sees in the glass.  
His eyes aren’t visible.  
_Thankgod_.  
“Send the armor ahead to scout.”  
The door to the lab opens. The corridor is empty. He takes a deep breath and strides out.

* * *

  
Pepper is sitting on the couch with her feet in Peter’s lap who is doing his homework and grumbling.  
Rhodey is stirring something in a pot in the open kitchen in front of them and telling Vision to take notes. The atmosphere holds the kind of sadness which makes everyone unsure but it’s still warm. Before Sam bursts in panting.  
“Jogging-” He’s breathing erratically “-Saw-Tony-bag.”  
But no one is listening. Because Peter is out of the door with Pepper on his heels, and Vision and Rhodey running behind them. They have to go through the main corridor as Sam leads them and the rest of the team faces them bewilderedly before getting up and following them.  
Pepper skids to a stop right in the backyard. So does everyone. Because.  
Because Tony is standing in front of a quinjet, his shades on and a duffel bag slung over his shoulder. He gives them a two finger salute and lifts himself up in a smooth movement. The door of the quinjet closes after him.  
It takes off after two seconds.  
Pepper leans against Peter and sighs sadly. Peter is still staring at the sky. Rhodey is cursing in the background and Natasha is questioning Friday.  
“Bossman desperately needs some alone time. It’s been over 9 years since his last proper vacation and however disheartening the circumstances may be, I believe he deserves his time off. So the only thing you’re getting from me is bug off.”  
Pepper slightly grins at that. Then grins even more and way more sharply when Friday cuts off Roger’s questions about security and what happens if he needs us by a cool-  
“He certainly doesn’t need your protection and it will do you well to remember he is Ironman.”  
The girl learns from the best.

* * *

  
Tony arrives to a setting sun and sand and water lapping the shores. The most peaceful place he has seen in forever. He lands near the mansion and goes straight to the nearest room, collapses on the bed and curls himself into a ball, crying silently. He takes out a bottle of expensive wine some time later, stares and stares at it and then throws it across the room. _Useless_. He doesn’t know if he is talking about the wine or him though. He changes into his pajamas and goes to the balcony, feeling oddly better. His legs touch the cool sand and the soft breeze rustles up his hair. His left hand holds the injection for extremis. He smiles at the ocean.  
And pushes the needle in.  
Hoping he won’t die.  
(No not really , sometimes he likes lying to himself.)  
Then he dreams.  
He dreams of his mother and her warm eyes as she held his hands and told him.  
“Never let go bambino.” He gazes tearfully at her.  
“Never, Mama.”  
The scene changes and it’s Howard’s cold eyes and scathing remarks and backhands. _But he doesn’t let go._ It’s Tiberius and his nasty smile telling him he doesn’t deserve friends.

_He doesn’t let go._  
It’s the dark, cold cave _and he still doesn’t let go_. Obie takes out his heart. He almost dies. Then starts to die again, is told his worth by someone who doesn’t know him _and he doesn’t let go._  
It’s the emptiness of a galaxy so far from home. He still _holds her hand._  
It’s the cold of Tennesse and the creepy voice of Ultron and the sad down twist of Pepper’s lips. It’s Ross eyes on his face. _He doesn’t let go._

But the scene changes then.  
It’s a car. It’s her. Her eyes are resigned. She’s accepting death. _He doesn’t- he doesn’t let go but there is nothing to hold_.  
It’s cold. It’s so cold and wow is that Captain America. Why is he hitting Tony? It pains so bad. Didn’t someone tell him of his artificial sternum? Who’s that? His eyes..Tony’s seen those eyes. They are the eyes of his mother’s murderer. And now he is killing Tony too.  
Tony smiles.  
It’s okay.  
He’ll have something to hold again, won’t he. 

Soon, soon.

* * *

 

 

He gasps as his eyes wrench open.  
He stares at the night sky.  
His head feels like it’s full of stuffed candy.  
“Ironman- Stark Industries-Accords-General Ross-War in middle east-Avengers-Pepper Potts makes- Mr.Rhodes refuses-.”  
He wants it off. Why is there so much in his brain? What’s going on? Off. Off.  
“Bossman?” The voice is soft and shocked.  
“Friday?” His lips don’t move.  
“What is your consciousness doing on the internet?” Her voice is trembling.  
He pauses and remembers.  
“Well.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm a horrible person.  
> *hides under a rock as she is continuously pelted by tomatoes*  
> ...*sheepish grin* this will have one more chapter.  
> Also on a serious note, i have absolutely no idea about recovery from traumatic experiences and if i offended anyone, please inform me.  
> Even though this chapter doesn't really contain any "recovery" per say.  
> I'm writing out the next one right now and well.  
> Also im finally 16.  
> So *pulls up sleeves* its time i do something productive with my time  
> Comment and review %_% it makes my heart go doki doki  
> [ also watch knb! It's awesome >\\\  
> ALSO THIS ISNT EDITED SO if you see some sillyass mistakes, inform me  
> P.s || shameful self promotion|| please check out my other fic if you have time !

**Author's Note:**

> I'm eventually going to write a post civil war fic. But since right now I'm working on my other (tony's a spy!) Fic and this idea kinda popped up in my mind. I posted this.  
> Im a horrible person.  
> Really, I am.  
> I leave no chance to not torture Tony do i  
> Do you guys want a sequeal where the team (like all of them. Yes. Including the ones who ran off in wilderness leaving Tony to face the brunt of everything) finding out? Do you? Ideas?


End file.
